Trillion millions of thoughts!

As the subject states, I have a very noisy mind. I often wander around many thoughts and end up nowhere. And another thing is, I usually have so many questions and never understood “Why?” questions. I am not sure how much will I make sense while questioning myself off that stuff that I encounter around me or related to myself or others. These questions are not just based on my life or stories but things I see, hear and observe. It could be absolute rubbish and nonsense or it could be something very outstanding and intelligent.

Well, from here on, I will be posting all those questions that I’ve never understood. Help me if anyone reading this can answer me or relate. If you think I am just being noisy and wasting my time then let it be because I barely get the guts to question or at least express myself.

And yes, I am not just gonna ask why but will be asking/mentioning other stuff as well. So here I go 😉

#1. Why is it so difficult to get the answers of “Why?”?

#2. Why am I writing this?

#3. Why am I so bad in reading and writing?

#4. Why do brides over makeup on their special day and look ugly rather pretty?
(Sorry no offense but I seriously do not get this :/)

#5. Why do brides cry their heart out on her wedding day and comes back home smiling the next day, as if it wasn’t her crying the other day?

#6. Why do boys always blame girls and vice versa?
(Has anyone won ever?)

#7. Why do people change and is never ready to admit it?

#8. Why girls have to get married early?

#9. Why do people talk about others?

#10. Why do girls overly express herself out and boys just do not express at all?

#11. Why do inferior thoughts take over you and block the other ways?

#12. Why it is hard to win over negativity?

#13. Why did I even make such habit (could be anything) that now it’s so hard to let go?

#14. Why people do not respect other’s choice/s?

#15. Why the ego is greater than anything else?

#16. Why educated people cannot properly act like an educated people?

#17. Why are people so much worried about society?

#18. When someone says the truth, becomes very straight and honest then why does that make person lonely?

#19. When someone wants to do something and his/her ego stops that person, why does ego always win?

#20. Why do we always understand the importance of the loved ones when they are far?

#21. Being a girl myself, I never understood, how can one dress so lightly in winters when going for the party?
(heaps of parties esp during wedding seasons, I see girls wearing a nude blouse and sari only and I wonder how, how, how LOL! I just cannot, I need thick clothes haha)

#22. Beauty lies in beholder’s eyes. Is that for the eyes only or heart as well?

#23. Can someone actually like an ugly looking person but got a beautiful heart inside as his/her companion? Can that person be real? I hear this shit heaps and have not figured it out yet.

#24. Why do poems sounds very nice when they rhyme?

#25. We cannot count stars but why is it so much fun just by gazing at them?

#26. As one grows old, why the fear grows along?

#27. Why do things for which one has to hide, lie or fear about?

#28. Why do vernalised trees look so beautiful? Empty and dry yet so meaningful.

#29. When someone is reserved, nothing comes out and when close enough, it is like an open book but why there is no in between. How one should deal with it?

#30. Everybody, even lunatic people realize things about their life and act on it; but why is that I’m so behind without any realization and if there are any chances of realization then why cannot I act on it at all?

#31. Addition to #30, If it is about willingness and determination then why don’t I have it? Despite the effort of developing it, why do I fail each time?

#32. One hides the true feeling on what s/he wants to do and creates this push and pull game for no reason. Why?

#33. People say I care but do they really care?

#34. What’s fake and real marriage? Many articles on it, strange!

#35. Why do people drift away so easily when one is less interested in what they are talking about?

#36. Why kids these days are so smart?

#37. What is the end?

#38. Does end mean end life only?

#39. Can I ever live peacefully, freely and happily?

#40. Why is it so wrong to be right?

#41. Why you gotta be the sweet bitch to get your voice heard?

#42. Why does one get so much cranky when on periods?

#43. What should one do when s/he is really frustrated?

#44. Why do down syndrome people look alike? (is it just me? is it too offensive to ask?)

#45. Could it be the betrayal? Playing around with me?

#46. Unrequited Love, strange, funny and very very very tiring yet why do one fall for it time and again? Why one does not learn or do something about it?

#47. Why pretending always work? Why pretending is easy and also makes people around you happy and unnoticed?

#48. Why does one randomly dislike an unknown person?

#49. One does clearly realize on the path s/he’s moving and knows very well that it’s a wrong choice, yet goes on and on until s/he gets hurt. Why?

#50. When someone cannot ask for the claims s/he wants to then it hurts himself/ herself with all the unnecessary insecurities. How can that be fixed?

#51. What is Dream?

#52. Does anyone has an answer for “where will my life lead to?”?

#53. Worshipping god, prayers: so they actually work?

#54. Can worshipping god change people or circumstances?

#55. Talking about changing people, isn’t it suppose to be people’s thought that needs to be changed?

#56. If worshipping god can change things, people and circumstances then why are we living in a today’s terrible world?

#57. Why people are talking about world war instead of peace?

#58. Who are gods actually?

#59. How can one just speak out loud about their ex-relation on how they were or how they used to call each other freely in public? Just hiding an identity doesn’t mean one is keeping their personal stuff safe, ain’t it?

#60. Related to #59. Now another side of the story. That ex jokingly or purposely calls another person with the same pet as s/he used to call. Is it fair?

#61. Rules: set for to follow or just for convenience?

…… more to come!

A Letter

A very thought friend of mine with his sweet and thoughtful poem…

Check out his blog for more 🙂

Matra Ek Soch

Placeholder Image
A Letter
The days we spent looking up at the clouds The nights we spent just looking up at the stars, Even when you spoke only a single word Like a tune of a flute how it pierced my heart! The graceful melodies from the depth of your eyes Gave us a song and a story in our lives, A moment in bliss, a feeling of a divine time In a world known to us as our secret paradise! Can I be a promise, To be the shine in your star, Walk with you to the roads that are far Can we see the spring in every passing year ? And get old in our garden with only a joyful tear! Just a letter for you to smile when I am gone, A token to recall the lines we've drawn, Places can change as we walk the streets of life…

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Unrequited

I super duper like Korean movies and dramas and most of the time, their storyline is based on unrequited love. And that particular role is always an eye candy. LOL!

So I was thinking, is it a good thing to like or love someone tirelessly and without any expectation. Is it ok to ignore the reality and keep moving on the path of unrequited love?

Well, there are so many questions and of course answers too but one good thing about having an unrequited love for someone is that I get to decide when to end it. My feelings have been out of my control, but I get to decide when to tame my heart. Your heart will always be passionate enough to treat you well and sets you free whenever you want, whenever I want.

Of course, it is a sad thing that you already get to know sooner or later you gotta stop. Stop for good, good for all.

Womanhood​ or Taboo?

Menstruation, 4-7 days of pain. Is it a just a natural cycle every period or a taboo? In Nepal, menstruation means impurity of menstrual blood, girls/ women turns into untouchable or even isolation.

I was surfing youtube and randomly found this video where it talks about the reactions of the people on menstruation. The video is more about how do people think about it? What are their perspectives? Are there any changes among people?

[Vid Source: Channel Arbitrary

After watching this video, I would like to share my own thoughts.

Menstruation is just a cycle of womanhood and not just the body, but the mind needs rest as well. Now talking about the rituals that I have in my house is not different from those uneducated people or villagers. My mom doesn’t allow me to touch my dad or even enter his room, no access to kitchen and prayer’s room and apart from that, there are so many other things that she doesn’t allow or makes me do, or makes me cautious about.

Me, yes, I am an educated girl and yet I am helpless to bring in change. I fail. I am no different from uneducated people. Not that I haven’t tried at all; I always fail in spite of many attempts to bring change or persuade my mom. My mom, she is so blinded by all those stupid religious aspects that she doesn’t want to know or listen, so getting aware is way too far for her. I get frustrated every time when I get my periods because of these stupid norms. I feel really happy to see the change among some of us who has started to giving access and doesn’t discriminate anymore. But I feel sad when I cannot explain my mom and change. I feel really bad for not being able to do anything or rebel. I certainly wish her to understand and bring in change. I definitely want to end this and take menstruation as a natural process of the body towards womanhood.

I feel helpless but I will not stop trying.

CNBLUE 7TH MINI ALBUM “7°CN”

Hmmmm…. finally these boys are back with their 7th Mini album called 7°CN. I am both satisfied and disappointed.

Disappointed, because, they still have the similar vibes as previous music. I did not notice the change except for their haircuts.

Satisfied, because, they are back. Yay!!! Though the music doesn’t give the different or unique feel, it is still captivating to ears. I really really hope to hear different music and all voices in near future.

Anyway here is the official music video:


[Source:CNBLUE (씨엔블루)]

Living Defective Piece

2017, super excited for a new day, new endeavors, new journeys, resolutions, plannings and a whole new year. But life doesn’t always turn out the way one planned or the way one once thought of. And that exactly happened with me. Despite all the plans, excitement and positiveness, everything seems not right for me. From the beginning of 2017, my health got deteriorated and thought of analyzing my body, head to toe.

  • Brain, not damaged but have a problem of overthinking and getting lost.
  • Hair, massive problem of hair loss. I used to have a long and thick hair and since I’m into medicines, it’s a goodbye.
  • Eyes, a gone case with myopia.
  • Nose, always running and itchy with pollen allergy.
  • Teeth, one down, and so many waiting.
  • Ear, am aging up so do my hearing ability (not exhilarating)
  • Skin, extremely sensitive and dead
  • Throat, tonsil is my best friend for life
  • Breast, have a record of having lump and it’s still there (so far its normal)
  • Abdominal and lower area: Do not have the gall bladder. A problem with lower stomach area hence periods problem.
  • Deficiencies of vitamin d, hemoglobin, iodine, iron
  • Nails cracks
  • Leg, a ligament is torn twice.

Wooooo, I am speechless myself. I have problems from head to toe. No wonder I am one hell defective piece, a living defective piece.

And he is back

I am looking forward to hearing stories and of course his plans ahead. #WelcomebackKimHyunJoong

Credits : hyun-joong.com 오랜만이에요. 잘 지내죠? 무슨 말을 어떻게 시작해야 할지 며칠을 고민한 끝에 이렇게 인사를 드립니다. 길고 긴, 상처의 시간들을 지나면서 제가 참 나약한 사람이었구나를 느꼈어요. 하지만 가족과 친구들, 그리고 날 믿어주는 사람들 덕분에 버틸 수 있었고, 그만큼 하루하루가 감사했습니다. 그래서 그냥 이렇게라도 안부를 묻고 싶었습니다. 다들 잘 지내고 계시죠? 그동안 하고 싶었던 이야기들은 […]

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