Kelly Clarkson – Because of you

I will not make
the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
the way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known
better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life
because it’s empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Running Away

Photo taken from patheos

I wanna hide again for so many reasons,

So many reasons that I fear of

Bottle up my thoughts, feelings and just walk away

But I am no more stronger and able to look at you

B’coz looking at you and smiling at you

Hurts me even more and puts me in pain

Hence I wanna hide again

Running away with an empty heart –

A heart that now stuffed with “If Only“.

Blocked and Blank

………………

and ……………..

I always end up like this….. 

I have got heaps of ideas and always boost up my energy to sit and write. When I sit to write then every things in my mind get blocked and i go blank once again. And that is how I procrastinate to write. I want to share many things, i want to vent out everything and once again I fail; I fail each time i try to write. 

I know my weakness and that is why i try my best to resolve it but it doesn’t seem to be working at all. I wanna improve my english, grammar and to the least a bit of writing skill but then again got blocked. I want to learn and improve my vocabulary as well  by putting up all together in my writing but yes, I am not doing that. My head gets blocked and hence I go blank.