I am on a silent mode again.
This time, it’s not just from the words not popping out my head but also from being conscious. I am conscious about people around me, being watched and this is keeping me away from expressing my thoughts as well.
Yesterday, I had this tiny conversation with my friend and he said, the hesitation comes from the moment you start to thinking about “right and wrong” and “the people’s perspective”. That struck me and I realised, damn! my thoughts still revolve around others. I do not much care about “right and wrong” but do care about on what will people think and their perspective.
I always believed in different minds having a different perspective and do intake very well. But, when it comes to your thoughts, in spite of taking in perspective well, I am more concerned about how will the other take in after that. It is absolutely no need to match with mine and I am fine with it (respecting different perspectives). However, I am concerned about what after that? How will they see, take in and respond?
I really need to work on this and overcome this fear, fear of being conscious.