Today it’s about him and a dear friend of mine. And oh yes, I am due with updates; it’s like they’re all piled up with my mind only as I have been thinking and analyzing lots and lots. Anyway, let me continue with this post.
Him is him (Mr. Him).
And this close friend is someone who introduced me to him. A friend who is very sweet and helpful always. But this time he has his story as well and it’s complicated.
He shared his story with me as always but this time around I wasn’t much help to him as my mind is not working as well. I feel for him and know well what he is going through and yet I am helpless. So, I thought how about this friend and him have a talk. Like girls go easy on girls, I thought guys would go the same way, maybe the bro way. Also, I have another reason for doing this, i.e. I want these two to get along well and do not need any third wheel. I want them to catch-up more often without me, I want them to be close enough to share their stories and beers and I want them to be the support to each other at bad times. A friend in a brother.
So finally this friend of mine spoke up about his complicated situation with him. I was really glad that it went well. I was surprised to know that Mr. him shared his experience along with his opinions, obviously, he didn’t share the deep down story but was contextual. And that coming from him is something as he is a very reserved person.
On the other hand, I was disturbed by the suggestions he gave to this friend. They were not bad for my friend but I got to know how does he take this matter as. My mind started to wander around again. It made me think about many questions that I piled up inside. I am wondering if he is more fickle minded or me? I seriously don’t know how to deal with this and my stupid heart.
Oh yes, and this bro talk thing is something I am always curious about. I mean I am always curious about how and what do guys talk when girls are not around haha. And as I knew about this friend gonna open up himself with Mr him, I was even more curious. I would get to know about my curiosity among the circle. haha!
So, I actually waited for Mr. him to share with me and blah blah blah. But I guess I was too impatient. I asked him about the evening but he was like acting all unknown and questioned me back as if he wanted to dig more or wants to know what I know on this matter. He was acting all the way for me to say first but I didn’t want to. I was more curious about bro talks than the problem of this friend. He ended up with being quiet and I was little sad which made me question myself.
Like always, I end up myself thinking about him and us. So I started questioning, “Does he mean anything about us till now?; Was he ever serious about us?; The suggestions he gave to my friend made me think, maybe, he was never serious or meant it because he is not ready to fight for it. He is in fact not willing (i guess); So what are we?; Friends! Sure?; What are we doing now?; Why are we intentionally hurting each other?; Why are we playing this push and pull game?; Why does he push me away when I go closer to him and pull me closer when I try to go away from him?; and many more.”
After all this good feeling about with these two bros, I ended up with a noisy mind. Little bitterly disturbed.